Relationships Rule

Relationships Rule

Of the four Emotional Intelligence (EI) competencies, retaining, growing and managing relationships is one of the more challenging to master.   For one, it requires an investment of time and energy, sometimes with no immediate “pay-off.”  It invites vulnerability, which, let’s face it, is not always comfortable.  It also depends on the other three EI skills (Self-Awareness, … [Read more...]

Put your Social Awareness Antenna to Work

You walk into a conference room for a 10AM meeting. Five minutes into the meeting, you notice the following: Two angst-ridden people from the same department tapping feverishly on their phones One person with his laptop open intensely pounding out an email The quiet person on your team sitting back from the table at the far end The not-so-quiet person on your team already energized … [Read more...]

Manage Thyself

Managing oneself is a key aspect of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and confounds many leaders.  Let’s face it, being aware of a behavior that doesn’t serve us well is one thing; it’s quite another to exercise a suitable alternative when we’re in the heat of the moment. Let’s begin by sharing some examples of what it means to self-manage.  Leaders who self-manage well tend to… … call … [Read more...]

Know Thyself … Including Thy Blind Spots

Pop Quiz:  Have you ever felt impatient and annoyed with a person sauntering in late to a meeting you’re running? Have you ever fantasized about something unpleasant happening to a co-worker who has a way of taking all the credit? Have you ever raised your voice in order to be heard in a conference room filled with a lot of opinions?  Or, are you more likely to withdraw in that … [Read more...]

Hats Off to Dogged and Disruptive Change

Hats off to those of you who laugh at the face of danger and yawn at the status quo (you know who you are!).  For most leaders, however, the constant drumbeat of change is draining and uncomfortable. A leader’s tendency to resist or embrace change varies dramatically and is driven largely by her perception of the risks and benefits.  It sounds straightforward, yet rarely is.  Once time, … [Read more...]

How True is it?

Even the best leaders live with limiting beliefs and assumptions that compromise decision-making and ultimately, their value.  One of my favorite questions for inviting reflection and challenging limiting beliefs and assumptions is:  “How True is it?” Here are a few examples of limiting beliefs and assumptions that keep leaders from playing all-in and initiating change for themselves and their … [Read more...]

Where do you take yourself out of the game?

We all have our tipping points:  We decide whether to “pass” or roll the dice depending on the risk we assign to the next move. While we know intellectually that growth and change rarely happen without some level of discomfort, most of us are not inclined to put ourselves in harm’s way.  We’d much prefer to remain safe and dodge the prickly emotions that arise if our actions don’t yield the … [Read more...]

What Are You Tolerating?

This is the “finger in the rib” question. If you put your index finger on your rib and apply light pressure, most people feel irritated, but still are able to carry on. Over time, you may even start accepting the annoyance as “normal” and a part of what you signed up for when you took this position. Our self-talk includes phrases like, “well, nothing’s perfect,” or “I have bigger battles to … [Read more...]

Brand YOU

What is meant by your leadership brand and why it’s important? For starters, your leadership brand is how you convey value. It’s the distinct set of talents and personality traits for which you are known. Your leadership brand is reinforced by how you “show-up” and behave on a daily basis. If I were to ask you to select key words to describe the leadership brand of Elon Musk, for instance, you’d … [Read more...]

What Can You Control, Really?

Woo!  There’s A LOT going on across the world stage right now. These are not your garden-variety gnat-type changes that annoy you for a little while, or are easily remedied by clearing out the fruit bowl.  No, the pace and magnitude of change is more like one of those tenacious, squawking seagulls at the beach that make you cover your picnic basket and grab a stick to protect the … [Read more...]